By Rebecca Arends, LMSW – Relationship Repair, Ann Arbor
Couples therapy can be one of the most effective paths to healing, discernment, and strengthening connection, but it can also feel overwhelming to know where to begin the work outside the therapy room. Whether you’re just starting your relationship, facing challenges, or simply want to deepen your bond, I’ve gathered together some of my favorite unique resources that I frequently recommend to clients.
These include books, podcasts, assessments, videos, and thoughtful articles to help you understand your relationship better and work toward repair, intimacy, and growth—both inside and outside of sessions.
Foundational Couples Therapy Models
These two research-backed methods are the gold standard for couples therapy. Each offers a different lens, and both are powerful.
The Gottman Method
Created by Drs. John and Julie Gottman, this method is grounded in decades of research. It focuses on friendship, conflict management, and building a shared life rich with meaning and fulfillment of goals and dreams.
- What to Read to Set Your Relationship Up for Success
- Free Relationship Quiz
- The Gottman Relationship Assessment
- Gottman Podcast: Small Things Often
- R is for Repair
- Parenting: Making the Invisible Visible
- Three Common Mistakes Couples Make During Conflict
- 5 Premarital Conversations to Sustain Love
Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy (EFT)
Developed by Dr. Sue Johnson, EFT helps couples understand and change patterns of emotional disconnection.
Podcasts & Media that Bring Therapy to Life
Sometimes, the most powerful learning comes from witnessing others’ stories.
- TV Series: Couples Therapy (Season 1 – Free Episode) – Real couples. Real sessions. Unscripted and deeply human.
- Podcast: Where Should We Begin? with Esther Perel – Hear private sessions unfold in real time.
- Podcast: Gottman’s “Small Things Often” – Bite-sized and practical insights.
- Short Film: The Breakthrough starring Greta Lee & Ben Sinclair – A dark comedy about couples therapy.
Affair Recovery and Rebuilding Trust
Repairing after betrayal is one of the hardest things a couple can go through—but healing is possible.
- Affair Recovery & Grief of the Involved Partner
- What to Do After an Affair (part 1)
- Affair Trauma Part 3: What I Learned at the Gottman Affair Trauma Seminar
- Why Happy People Cheat – A compassionate take from Ester Perel
- Pimping Tenderness & Grooming Behaviors | Affair Recovery
- Betrayal Trauma in Addiction
- An Open Letter on Porn
Sexual Intimacy, Desire & Changing Needs
Intimacy evolves. These resources explore libido changes, health challenges, and communication about sex.
- Three Main Reasons Behind Loss of Desire in Couples
- Partners: Sexual Intimacy – Living Well
- Supporting a Partner Who Has Experienced Sexual Trauma
Trauma & Mental Health in Relationships
When intimacy disorders, addiction, or neurodivergence plays a role in relationships, therapy can provide language and tools to support understanding.
- Erotic Intelligence: Igniting Hot, Healthy Sex While in Recovery from Sex Addiction Chapter 1 The Dance of Intimacy and Sexuality
- Learning to Linger – Additude Magazine
- ADHDMarriage.com – Support and tools for couples navigating ADHD
Reflection, Growth & Honest Takes
These articles and essays offer big-picture thinking, surprising insights, and honest truths from clinicians and writers.
- 7 Outdated Relationship Myths
- 8 Reasons Couples Therapy Doesn’t Work
- The Third Thing – by Donald Hall – A poetic meditation on love and shared meaning
- Self-Interest is Not Selfish in Relationships
- Why Anthropomorphism is Not a Scientific Sin – For the philosophically inclined
- A Counselor’s Point of View: Why Couples Counseling is the Hardest Work
- Discernment Packet for pre-marital reflection or current relationships
Whether you’re seeking help with communication, parenting, conflict, or recovering from betrayal, I hope some of these resources offer support and guidance. And if you’re looking for compassionate couples therapy in Ann Arbor, I’d love to help you find your way forward—together.
Warmly,
Rebecca Arends, LMSW
Couples & Individual Therapist | Relationship Repair – Ann Arbor
